Considering a third...

Something has been on my mind a lot lately and I'm going to try to work through it a bit here. When I was pregnant with Olivia, I sorta wanted a natural birth...didn't really see it as THAT big of a deal. I think I was more afraid of getting an epidural because it involved a big a$$ needle in my back more then I was afraid of the side effects. Well, after being induced at 33w5d and being in labor for 48 hours, I ended up with a c-section. After I had her, I said I'd get another c-section because it'd be easier.


Well, it didn't take long for me to change my tune on THAT thought. I started researching c-sections and the things it can do to your body. The fact that it's not just any old procedure...it is MAJOR abdominal surgery. There are so many short and long term side effects that can occur with a c-section to both the mother and the baby and the more you have, the more you issues can occur. You could have scar tissue, it can affect your organs surrounding your uterus, you have an increased risk of needing a hysterectomy, increased risk of placenta previa...that's just SOME of the risk factors with c-sections. The fact is that babies were simply NOT meant to be taken out of your belly with a scalpel. Our bodies were made to give birth to babies from our vaginas. It is the most natural thing in the world...women in coma's have given birth to babies...our bodies just KNOW what to do. <<<Tangent


So when I was pregnant with Ella, I was fully commited to having a V-BAC. I went into my doctors office and I said "i'm having a V-BAC." I didn't say that I wanted to have a V-BAC, I said I was having one. I KNEW I wasn't having another c-section. Not. A. CHANCE. I was drinking red raspberry leaf tea starting around 10 or 11 weeks to help strengthen my uterus, I had a doula, I had a ton of support from my OB, friends and family and I was looking into the different birth classes I could take to help me during birth (hypno birthing, lamaze etc). Then at 24 weeks, BAM, I was hit with the ONE thing I totally did NOT expect. Blood pressure issues...again. Just a week prior to being put on bedrest, I was at my doula's house and I had just passed my glucose test. I told her "Yay! I'm not high risk!" HA! I honest to God did NOT expect that I would get pre eclampsia again. I was on strict bedrest starting at 24 weeks. I immediately started taking different herbal remedies and made a dramatic change in my diet. It helped, of that I have no doubt, but it wasn't long before nothing was helping anymore. By 28 weeks, I was hospitalized. 2 days later, I was transferred to a higher risk hospital that was connected to a higher level NICU because the hospital I was at couldn't handle babies born before 32 weeks. Nothing can possibly describe the extreme terror and grief that I was feeling. It was a matter of days they told me, hours even. Everytime they took my blood pressure, I would try to relax and calm myself. I was doing EVERYTHING I could to keep my sweet Ella inside of me for as long as possible.


2 or 3 days before I delivered Ella, I had another bomb dropped on me. They told me I HAD to have another c-section. Say WHAT? Oh man, I argued with them. You wouldn't BELIEVE how I argued with them. Every single person in that hospital knew who I was because I spoke to every. single. doctor in that place. All of 'em. Doctors, nurses, the head hospital people. I was one of THOSE patients. But, alas, it just wasn't happening. I had to prepare for another c-section. I was absolutely heartbroken. My grief was strengthened by the fact that not only was I going to have an extremely premature baby but she was going to be cut out of me in a sterile white room.


Why am I writing all of this you may wonder? Well...after Ella was born (and right before) we said, NO more kids! Absolutely not. It was too dangerous. I had gotten severe pre-e with both of my girls. But now....well, I just don't know. We had always planned on having 3-4 kids. And we'd also always said we wanted to adopt an older child but I had wanted at least one more infant. I wasn't prepared for Ella to be my last nursling or the last baby I would grow inside of me and feel kick me. I wasn't prepared for the idea that I would never again go through the excitmenet of a positive pregnancy test and the choosing of names and the experience of watching my belly grow with our child within it. So now we are here at a crossroads. (Well not really as I don't want to get pregnant yet.) Do we risk it? Do we have another baby? There are SO many natural things you can do to prevent pre-e. Dietary, exercise, herbal things...and they've been known to work for a lot of people the second time around....however...I'm not the second time around. I'd be the third time around. So we have fears that it wouldn't work.


Then I have to ask myself...what is my reason for wanting a third? Obviously, I would love a third child. I love my children, I adore being a mother and I've always wanted more then 2 kids. BUT...there is adoption. And we always wanted to adopt. I have to ask myself...do I want a third moreso because I want to "do it right"? I'm a natural birth advocate...who has never had a natural birth. I've never pushed a baby out of my body. I've never experienced the rush that must come with the moment when you have that final push and your baby is delivered into this world. How desperately I want to experience that. I can't even put it into words how much trauma I feel to have only had c-sections of premature babies.


So here I am. I have a dear friend who had a 29 weeker as well due to pre eclampsia and HELLP syndrom and went through Birth Trauma therapy and after Ella is a little less reliant on my breasts, I intend on going through it as well. I hope that will help me work through this internal struggle I'm experiencing.

"It's Not Easy Being Green"...or crunchy

Day in and day out, I'm reminded that being "crunchy" is one of the most difficult things! I was recently accused by someone that the only reason I cared about the things I did (including being very passionate about breastfeeding) was because it was "the cool thing to do". Really? Is it? I don't think so. Being mainstream would be wayyyyy easier. How many times does someone face problems with formula feeding and someone says, "you should try breastfeeding instead!" or if you're doing CIO with your baby, you're not often told to stop CIO and cuddle your baby to sleep....I could go on and on. It can be SO exhausting being passionate about these things. So why do I talk about them? Why do I have this blog? Why have I lost people I THOUGHT were my friends (whom obviously weren't if they couldn't handle the fact that I dared to think different then them) just because I share my views, thoughts, ideals and opinions? 

I ask myself this question a lot. I even thought about no longer writing this blog and focusing on The Good Letdown and my most recent project, a support group for preemie parents Breastmilk for Preemies. Breastfeeding is probably the thing I am MOST passionate about hands down so I really just thought that I should just drop everything else, enjoy my large group of girlfriends who feel very similarly to my crunchy beliefs and focus on my breastfeeding blogs and groups. That's a big reason why I haven't posted on here for so long. Then I realized...if any person who had made change in this world had felt the same way, had just backed off because people didn't like what they had to say, we'd still be whipping slaves and women wouldn't be able to work or wear pants. NOT that I'm comparing myself to those who abolished slavery or who fought so passionately and dedicated themselves to the women's rights movement....but they didn't shut their mouths and neither will I. I am not saying I will change the world, I am not out to do that. I am just here in this tiny little corner of the internet, writing what I believe. 

And yes, I do believe it to be right. I believe that the way I raise my children is right. I believe that the things I am passionate about are right. I've said it before and I'll probably say it again...if I didn't believe they were right, I wouldnt' do them, now would I? Would you ever do something you believed was wrong? I mean, unless you're a criminal or a sociopath, do you honestly go through life and go against what you firmly believe is the correct thing to do? Obviously we all make mistakes. While I try to parent in a gentle way, I yell too much. My hand occasionally flies out before my brain stops it. Without a doubt, I screw up. But I try to always do what I believe is right! ............I got off on a tangent there....not at all unlike me for those of you who know and love me. (And for those who know and hate me, you know that's not unlike me either...and I bet you have a fun time picking at it. Here's something new to be added to the pile! :) 

So what is the point of this blog post in particular? Well, I guess it's just to come back into the fold of things and say, no, I'm not gone. And to just sort through my feelings. Because really, that's what this blog is for. The main purpose of this was for myself. Yes, I'm that selfish. I have made a lot of new changes in my thoughts and opinions lately and I'm still sorting through them. I'm constantly doing research and trying to work through life just as anyone else is. And this blog is a way for me to work through my own brain. If other people want to come along for the ride, be my guest. If you can't handle what I have to say, for goodness sakes, don't read it! If I offend you SO greatly, pass on by. Another reason I'm writing this is because I personally enjoy hearing about other peoples lives and parenting styles, but I would be especially interested to learn about anyone who made a dramatic change in their life. I have a friend who used to be a mormon...and now she's not. That's a MAJOR dramatic change. I'm FASCINATED by that. I'm fascinated by people who pick up their stake in life and dramatically change it. I've dramatically changed in my views of life and parenting and those changes are still occuring so I'm blogging about it (how many times can I use the word change and dramatic huh?! I need a thesaurus hahah!). 

I know, I know, this blog post is kind of all over the place and not the most well written. It's just a quick glance into the mess that is my brain...just me sorting through some crap in my own head. If I keep going on, I'll just end up repeating myself over and over again. But I'm still here. I'm still blogging. I'm not going anywhere. If you don't like what I have to say, just move along. Find something else to do with your time. :D 

Gentle Discipline: Going against my nature....

I know a lot of mamas whose first reaction is to be loving and kind when their kids start throwing tantrums. They talk calmly and I swear, they never lose their temper. Their first reaction is to be a gentle parent. I admit, my first reaction is to put my 2 year old over my lap and slap her tushie until it's purple.

Uhhh I have a temper. I totally admit it. It's gotten a lot better since I got on zoloft for severe PPD but it's still something I have to think about and control. I have this idea of the type of mama I want to be in my head. Patient and understanding. I always consider what my 2 year old is experiencing to act that way. I understand her age and frustration and gently lead her through life, teaching her and guiding her.

Doesn't that sound like a lovely mama?

I try. I really do. And lately, about 75% of the time, I would say I succeed. But not always. I yell. Occasionally my hand creeps out and slaps her tushie (errr it happend today :-(...). But I'm constantly working on my first reaction and my temper issue. I truly believe that gentle parenting is the best way. We don't do time outs and we don't spank...or that's our general rule. We TRY not to yell. We try to always consider why our children are acting the way they are and working with that. We WILL take privlaiges away for a short period though. For instance, if Olivia is throwing toys angrily, she cannot play with those toys for a bit. We will also take her into another room, and stay with her, and have a "time in". Why do I do this? Because I don't want her to learn that yelling, hitting and time outs are the way to handle things. I try to look at these things from her perspective. If I put her in a corner and tell her she's in trouble, then I walk away, to her, I probably am abandoning her. I'm teaching her that I will only be with her and love her conditionally, based on her behavior. Olivia is 3 feet tall and 29 pounds. I am over 5 feet tall and...well, I weigh more then 29 lbs. If I yell at her, how scary must that be? If I hit her, I'm telling her that violence is the answer.

I don't want her to think I only love her conditionally or that violence and abandonment (in her eyes...I'm not saying time outs are abandonment) is the answer. So I strive to be a gentle understanding mother. It's not easy for me personally but because I truly believe this is the best way to handle things, I try to always be conscious of what I'm doing around my girls. It's a struggle though! I don't believe that I'm the only one out there who struggles with raising their children peacefully but still works towards it! I sure hope not! haha!

And do I really have to put a disclaimer on here that says I don't think I'm better then you because you may do time outs and I don't? If I do, let me just say that this is the last one I'm going to do this on. :p I'll talk more about different techniques I try to do with both of my girls over the life of this blog and provide articles that supports why I do what I do...or try to do what I do.

I'm not attacking you

Today as I was cleaning, I started thinking about losing friends to opinions etc. I have a dear friend who just went through losing a friend (and a group of acquaintances because of that friend) because of the stuff she posted on her FB about breastfeeding, parenting, etc. I was not only verbally attacked but also deleted from at least 3 peoples facebooks so far...maybe more, I don't pay that close attention to my facebook list unless it's my close friends. One of the people I had considered a pretty good friend, one I had been trying to come up with a good way to delete for a while and another was just one of those people who I occasionally caught up with when I saw something of theirs on my wall. They were all from a group of women that all know each other though and I suspect there have probably been more and will be.

My friend just wrote a blog post about sharing information on her facebook wall and there was a part that really hit close to home:

"People might think I'm a stubborn opinionated bitch, but it's my wall and I'll put my thoughts up there regardless of what anyone thinks. Sometimes I treat it almost like a journal. Feel free to gloss over it and ignore it much like I do when people talk about sporting events, working on cars, or finding a new job." (The Good Letdown)

That's exactly how I feel. I'm not sharing information to attack others or hurt others. And I certainly don't think I'm "better then everyone else" because I choose to breastfeed, extend rear face my children...whatever else. I completely acknowledge that there are many ways to parent and I don't think that if you don't choose to parent the way I do, that you don't love your children as much. Do I think these things are right? Of COURSE I do. Obviously I do or I wouldn't be doing them now would I? Do I think that it's the best way to do things. Sure. Again, if I didn't think it was the best way to do things, I wouldn't be doing them. What parent in their right mind chooses to parent in a way that they don't think is the best thing to do for their children? I mean, seriously. Everyone has their reasons why they do things. Just because I don't agree doesn't mean I think that I'M better then you or that I love my kids more then you love your kids.

No doubt there are things that I'm adamently against. I am completely against circumcision (unless it is medically necessary which it is in >1% of cases). Do I have friends that have circumcised their sons? Yes. And when we get together, I don't sit there and tell them that I think I'm better then them or whatever else some people may choose to accuse me of. For the most part, we just don't talk about it. They know how I feel, but lo and behold, we can still have a friendship. It's that way with many things. I have friends who have formula fed, I have friends who have CHOSE to have c-sections, I have friends who do not extend rear face. I also have friends who extend rear face, and breastfeed until their child weans themselves and who have had natural, epidural free births. That's the funny thing, I don't need everyone to be just like me.

When I share my opinions and facts, I am not attacking you. I am sharing opinions and facts. That's it. Are there things that I hope people will see and change their minds about? Sure. Again, I go back to the fact that if I didn't think it wasn't right, I wouldn't do it. If you choose not to, will I hate you forever? Probably not.

But if my sharing facts and opinions offends you or makes you feel attacked then it's probably better that we're not friends or on each others facebooks. Because honestly, I'm not going to stop sharing my opinions and facts just because someone else can't handle hearing it. I see things that people write on their facebook that I don't agree with. I see pro-life comments, formula comments, cry-it-out comments...I choose not to respond to them. And if I do, it's never in a mean, attacking way. Heck, I see people who post that they think "Twilight" is the stupidest movie ever and I certainly don't agree with THAT either. My own husband makes fun of it. But do I jump on him and tell him he's a crazy jerk who thinks he's better then me? Um. No. You think that's a silly analogy? You think it's not the same as circumcision or formula? Then you've never stood in line to see that movie on opening night. Some of those people are crazyyyyyyyyyyy. They probably feel more passionate about "Twilight" then I do about natural child birth!

The point is, this is my blog and it's my facebook. And I share stuff that means something to me. If you don't agree, fine. But I won't stop sharing it. Because if I did, I couldn't share anything. I'm sure that each time I open my mouth, there is someone in this world that could be offended by what I'm about to say. But I won't go through life with my mouth shut just in case I offend someone. If you simply can't stand what I have to say, then delete me. We probably weren't that good of friends anyways.

Why do I care?

Today, I was called "crazy". I was told to get off my high horse. I was informed that I thought I was better then everyone else. Someone told me that they hoped I didn't have anymore children.

This was all in response to my last post about circumcision. One of the people asked me why I was passionate about something that had nothing to do with my life. I have two girls, why should I care? Why do I care? That's a good question. Well first of all, the obvious, I have an intact husband. But it goes so much deeper then that.

Up until 1996, female genital mutilation was legal in the United States. 

In October 1973, Playgirl magazine recommended female circumcision. 

It is still practiced in several countries and secretly practiced in the United States. Do you know about female circumcision? It's another topic I'm passionate about. In fact, I'm passionate against any genital cutting, whether male or female. How is it right to say our girls are perfect and we're not going to cut them but our boys are not? It doesn't make sense to me. So many people think it's a choice for the parents. Do those people believe the same thing about female circumcision as well? 

Secondly, this is about helping babies. Just because I don't have a son doesn't mean I can't care about boys issues. It's preposterous to say that because I'm the mother of two girls I'm unable to fight for infants rights. 

Some people feel that I think I'm better then them. :shrug: I don't. I'm not going to going into a wordy defense of that though because quite frankly, I don't care. I don't care if they don't like what I have to say. I don't care if they think I am on a high horse. I cannot force someone to look at factual information and be able to digest it calmly and considerately. I can only present facts and my opinions and leave it at that. If they don't like it, they can choose not to read it and go back into their little box. 

I will post more about circumcision over the life of this blog. Just as I'll post about breastfeeding, cloth diapering, extended rear facing, vaccines, carseat safety and whatever else strikes my fancy. I care about these topics. I'm passionate about them. I respect that not everyone agrees with me but that doesn't mean I have to keep my mouth shut and pretend I don't have something to say about these things. 

To cut or not to cut...it's only his decision.

I actually started this blog post a few weeks ago and kept thinking about how to approach this. It's a really touchy subject and one that while I'm extremely passionate about, I've hesitated to come out of the closet about on facebook because of how people react. But I've thought and thought about it and I just can't stay silent any longer. I may lose friends over this but it is what it is. I have to speak out about this in spite of whatever may come from it. 


Oh boy. Here I go. Opening that can of worms. I know that a lot of my facebook friends are going to read this (if they even bother) and be like, gasp! how dare she? Well, I dare. Oh yes, I dare.


Circumcision. Okay so here's the deal with circumcision. It seems normal to just lop it off right? I mean, it's just some extra skin right? Um wrong. I could go into what the foreskin is, what the purpose of it is, the extreme pain that it causes a newborn (yes, newborns can feel pain) to have it removed, but if I start there and go on, this blog post would be 10 miles long. I assure you, the foreskin is there for a reason. Were it not, would babies be born with it? It is made up of blood vessels and nerve endings and just as having any other part of your body cut off would hurt, it hurts to have it removed. 


There are a lot of arguments I hear from people about why they circumcise. Honestly, each and every one of them is a load of bunk. Yes, each and every single one of them. Here are 3 common ones I hear often. 


Reason #1: It's cleaner to have a penis circumcised 

I’m sure you’ve heard second hand horror stories of so-n’-so’s nephew/uncle/cousin who had horrible infections and ended up being circumcised later in life. This is an all too common tale for intact (not circumcised) men in the United States in the last 100-150 years. It all boils down to proper care of the penis. You should never pull back the foreskin for any reason at all. Also make sure anyone who will be caring for your son, and your son's pediatrician know that you do not want them pulling it back (many doctors don't know they aren't supposed to be retracting the foreskin). US doctors have been forcing retraction at exams and instructing parents to retract on a regular basis for decades, but we now know that this is harmful and unnecessary and it actually causes most of the problems that you hear about later.
The foreskin is fused to the head of the penis just like a fingernail is attached to a finger. Over time the fusion naturally dissolves and only your son will know when it is safe to pull back (sometimes as late as puberty.) By forcefully retracting the skin doctors and parents have been causing damage that in turn can lead to infections for the child. If you simply leave it alone chances are extremely rare for anything unusual to happen. This is proven by the fact that these issues are not present in countries that have a better understanding of intact care (Europe, Mexico, Asia, Africa, etc). It is very easy to care for – “only clean what is seen” is the intact motto. (Taken from Minnesota N.I.C.E)

Reason #2: He should look like his daddy

Then there comes the “look like daddy” factor that many people feel is necessary. I don’t know about you, but I am not aware of any father/son penis look-a-like contests in our area. There is no way to guarantee any part of your son will look like your husband, and considering cosmetic surgery to change his nose to look like daddy’s sounds absurd, right? Same thing goes with the penis. They are all different shapes/sizes, and in reality there is a whole lot less penis comparing than we sometimes think there will be. A much more noticeable difference would be that daddy has hair. The locker room debate is also being thrown out the window. Worldwide 80% of men are left intact, in the USA countrywide approimately 64% of men are left intact, and in Minnesota we are leaving 35% intact (based on the latest survey in 2008). The percentage is rapidly increasing the more people are made aware. Someday in the near future the cut boys very well could be in the minority. (Taken from Minnesota N.I.C.E.)


Reason #3: It decreases the risks of STDs later in life


There were studies that said that circumcised men in Africa were contacting HIV more so then uncircumcised men. These studies have recently come under the microscope and are being debunked. Being circumcised does not decrease your risk of STDS and even if it did, that's an odd reason to remove something isn't it? I mean, think about it. You could get breast cancer...do you remove your breasts? You could get a yeast infection...do you remove your vagina? No. You don't. To me, it sounds like an excuse to not teach our sons safe sex. Don't remove the foreskin to prevent STDS, use condoms  to prevent STDs, or don't have multiple partners. 


When it comes down to it, it's not your penis and the only person who should make a decision about cutting off an important part of the body is the person whose body it is. Furthermore, may I just say that all of those reasons for male circumcision? Well they've been used to excuse female circumcision. Would you circumcise your daughters? No, you wouldn't. So why would you circumcise your sons? 


This isn't an attack against those who have circumcised their sons. It's done. However you can educate yourself on what circumcision truly is and change it in the future. If I saved one baby because of this post, then my job is complete. 


There is a prepuce organ/foreskin packet that includes 8 articles and 3 DVDs: at http://www.savingpenises.org/our-information-packs.html
Here are some wonderful reference websites if you’d like to look up more information;
http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/
http://www.cps.ca/caringforkids/pregnancybabies/Circumcision.htm
http://www.circumcisionandhiv.com/
http://www.cirp.org/
http://www.drmomma.org/ -http://www.drmomma.org/2010/01/are-you-fully-informed.html
http://www.intactamerica.org/
http://www.circinfosite.com/
http://sagaciousmama.wordpress.com/2010/04/20/20-reasons-i-did-not-circumcise-my-son/

If you and your partner disagree on what should be done – ask yourself – “Whose penis is it?” There is absolutely nothing wrong with leaving your son intact and allowing him to make the decision about his genitalia when he is old enough to make such a call. Many men resent being cut emotionally and/or physically, there is no way to know where your son will fall in the spectrum. Logically, with the increase of intact boys in our area it is most likely that circumcision will be rare or extinct in the next two generations. Your son could either be the last one cut, or the first one left intact. It’s up to you. (taken from Minnesota N.I.C.E.)

In the beginning....

I really debated on what I should do for my first post. Different ideas swam through my head and I'd originally thought, Ooo, I'll do it on vaccines. No, scratch that. I still have more research to do and I don't want to go in head first without looking. Then I'd just look stupid. Ahh, the joys of being in my head, right? It's a crazy mess in there but sometimes it's kinda fun (being in my head that is).
Then I thought I should do a post on the thing that started me down my crunchy path...breastfeeding!! (And can I just say that everytime I say crunchy, I get hungry and start thinking about foods that crunch? Carrots, granola, cookies, deep fried chimichangas...mmmm...)

When I was pregnant with my first baby, I remember thinking, I'll breastfeed until she's 6 months. I have no idea where I came up with that number or what I planned on doing afterwards. I also remember buying formula and bottles "just in case" because that's what the baby registries (who I'm sure are helped funded BY the formula companies) told me to do. That's what websites told me to do. And I was TERRIFIED my baby would starve. Sigh. There is SO much misinformation out there that leads mamas down the wrong path...that's a whole other blog post though...I'm not even going to start ranting about that (FYI, I'm sure I'll blog A LOT about breastfeeding on here...it's my absolute passion in life!).

When Olivia was born, she was 6 weeks premature due to pre-e. She also had high levels of magnesium sulfate in her blood and jaundice so she was extra sleepy. The NICU where she was, as well as the lactation consultants were completely worthless. Within a day and a half they said if I didn't give her bottles, she'd never go home. I had almost no chance to work on latching with her. She had a weak latch and sucking...of COURSE, because she was premature and just at the gestation where the suck, breathe and swallow reflex usually kicks in for babies. I would always go to the NICU and try to nurse her but I couldn't get her to latch on. Hindsight, I now know that I didn't give it enough of a chance but I didn't know. Everyone told me otherwise. Oh if only I'd known about the resources! In a nutshell, I ended up pumping for almost 6 months and bottle feeding Olivia. I had problems with supply and I also didn't pump enough (again, thanks to the LOVELY LC's advice from that stupid hospital) so I had to supplement (and I didn't know about milk sharing!). Right before Olivia turned 6 months old, my supply was SO incredibly low that she was getting like one bottle a day of bm and the rest formula. I was doing everything to try and increase my supply...fenugreek, marathon pumping sessions, drinking TONS of water, breast massage, but nothing was working. I knew that if I couldn't get her to start nursing, it wouldn't be long before she was on formula. It was right around this time that I started learning more about breastfeeding and starting my lactivist ways. I got Olivia to latch on (much to the dismay of said LC's AND the LLL I had contacted!) and the rest, as they say, is history! She became a boobie baby almost overnight!

When Olivia was one year old, it was time to wean, right? Because that's when you're supposed to wean isn't it? But I thought to myself, wait a second, I've actually ONLY gotten to breastfeed her for 6 months so really, that's not fair. I loved breastfeeding, she loved breastfeeding and I thought it was a bunch of BS that I'd only gotten to nurse her for 6 months so I wasn't about to stop now! I didn't know the term "extended breastfeeding" and I didn't know about WHO's recommendation to nurse until the age of 2 and I CERTAINLY didn't know that people nurse even LONGER then 2! I was just flying by the seat of my pants (which is what I did with most of everything I did with Olivia!).

When she was 14 months old, we decided to try to have another baby. With Olivia, we had to do fertility treatments to get pregnant with her and we thought we'd need to do that again. I went to see my OB who said they couldn't give me the drugs while breastfeeding (and of course, I later found out there ARE drugs you can take while BFing, sigh). I was so sad, I didn't want to wean! But we wanted to have another baby and we were afraid that insurance would cut us off from fertility treatments since our old insurance had. So, I very, very slowly weaned her...like over 2.5 months. At 16 months, we finally weaned.

.......and 3 weeks later I was pregnant on my own. How do ya like that?!

So it was through flying by the seat of my pants with pumping and breastfeeding Olivia that I started to discover my inner crunchiness. The first forum I found was The Leaky B@@B on facebook and that was right around the time I was weaning Olivia. That's my story for now, which will later be continued as I talk more about breastfeeding and other crunchy subjects...now off to find something crunchy to eat.

Hello!

Today I was laughing to myself at how drastically I've changed in my views over the last few years and I realized that it wasn't just a few things. I have done almost a complete turn around from being mainstream to crunchy...and it's still happening! Ha! Then I thought, hmm, what a fun thing to blog about! It would not only give me the opportunity to share with others but also to do further research and reexamine myself and my newly found crunchiness. I also write another blog with 2 other mamas, The Good Letdown about breastfeeding....feel free to check it out! :)


About me: I'm a 26 year old stay at home mom of two girls, Olivia and Ella. Olivia is 2.5 and Ella is 6 months. Both my girls were premature, Olivia was born at 34 weeks and Ella was born at 29 weeks. I had c-sections with both girls, although both I'd intended on having a natural, drug free delivery. Unfortunately that wasn't in the cards for me. I have been married to my husband for 4 years and we just bought a house. I"m not the crunchiest of them all, for sure, but I'm definitely there and especially compared to how I used to be. I know I'm going to have people check out this blog who are like, what the crap are you talking about crunchy? I got this definition of a crunchy mom from Nature Moms Blog:

Mother who supports homebirth, breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, gentle discipline, etc. One who questions established medical authority; tends to be vegetarian and/or prepare all-organic foods. See crunchy and hippie.

I admit, I'm not a vegetarian and I don't eat all organic. I would eat all organic if it were affordable and I try to eat feed our family as much as we can organic. The rest though? Yup, that's me...and so much more. The things I'd like to cover in this blog? CIrcumcision (gasp, oh yes, I'm going there), cloth diapering, baby wearing, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, vaccines (uh-huh, I'm going there too), extended rear facing, things I don't do that are considered crunchy (and why I don't do them)...and whatever else strikes my fancy. 

A few years ago I was soooo not the person I am today. When I was pregnant with my first I was so pro vaccines that I thought anyone who didn't do every single vaccine was a stupid, irresponsible idiot. I planned on breastfeeding for 6 months and I didn't even know the term baby wearing. I thought that spanking was the way you handled discipline and you couldn't PAY me to have a home birth. The only things I was slightly crunchy about were circumcision...I just wouldn't do it but I wasn't as passionate about it as I am now, and co-sleeping. I"m almost totally opposition of that now which is kind of weird to experience especially because the people in my life are used to the old me. I've had to literally sit down and tell family the changes we've made and my new believe system (that's a whole blog post within itself!) and I'm finding that I'm constantly learning and changing still. 

I hope to have fun with this, educate and just share. I also hope to examine myself and go back over the changes I've made...and laugh at myself! If no one follows this, oh well, it's still a fun way for me to get it all out!