‎"We cannot withhold facts for fear of offending because the importance of the information outweighs people's right to not be challenged in their beliefs."
-Maddie Reid

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I'm not attacking you

Today as I was cleaning, I started thinking about losing friends to opinions etc. I have a dear friend who just went through losing a friend (and a group of acquaintances because of that friend) because of the stuff she posted on her FB about breastfeeding, parenting, etc. I was not only verbally attacked but also deleted from at least 3 peoples facebooks so far...maybe more, I don't pay that close attention to my facebook list unless it's my close friends. One of the people I had considered a pretty good friend, one I had been trying to come up with a good way to delete for a while and another was just one of those people who I occasionally caught up with when I saw something of theirs on my wall. They were all from a group of women that all know each other though and I suspect there have probably been more and will be.

My friend just wrote a blog post about sharing information on her facebook wall and there was a part that really hit close to home:
"People might think I'm a stubborn opinionated bitch, but it's my wall and I'll put my thoughts up there regardless of what anyone thinks. Sometimes I treat it almost like a journal. Feel free to gloss over it and ignore it much like I do when people talk about sporting events, working on cars, or finding a new job." (The Good Letdown)
That's exactly how I feel. I'm not sharing information to attack others or hurt others. And I certainly don't think I'm "better then everyone else" because I choose to breastfeed, extend rear face my children...whatever else. I completely acknowledge that there are many ways to parent and I don't think that if you don't choose to parent the way I do, that you don't love your children as much. Do I think these things are right? Of COURSE I do. Obviously I do or I wouldn't be doing them now would I? Do I think that it's the best way to do things. Sure. Again, if I didn't think it was the best way to do things, I wouldn't be doing them. What parent in their right mind chooses to parent in a way that they don't think is the best thing to do for their children? I mean, seriously. Everyone has their reasons why they do things. Just because I don't agree doesn't mean I think that I'M better then you or that I love my kids more then you love your kids.

No doubt there are things that I'm adamently against. I am completely against circumcision (unless it is medically necessary which it is in >1% of cases). Do I have friends that have circumcised their sons? Yes. And when we get together, I don't sit there and tell them that I think I'm better then them or whatever else some people may choose to accuse me of. For the most part, we just don't talk about it. They know how I feel, but lo and behold, we can still have a friendship. It's that way with many things. I have friends who have formula fed, I have friends who have CHOSE to have c-sections, I have friends who do not extend rear face. I also have friends who extend rear face, and breastfeed until their child weans themselves and who have had natural, epidural free births. That's the funny thing, I don't need everyone to be just like me.

When I share my opinions and facts, I am not attacking you. I am sharing opinions and facts. That's it. Are there things that I hope people will see and change their minds about? Sure. Again, I go back to the fact that if I didn't think it wasn't right, I wouldn't do it. If you choose not to, will I hate you forever? Probably not.

But if my sharing facts and opinions offends you or makes you feel attacked then it's probably better that we're not friends or on each others facebooks. Because honestly, I'm not going to stop sharing my opinions and facts just because someone else can't handle hearing it. I see things that people write on their facebook that I don't agree with. I see pro-life comments, formula comments, cry-it-out comments...I choose not to respond to them. And if I do, it's never in a mean, attacking way. Heck, I see people who post that they think "Twilight" is the stupidest movie ever and I certainly don't agree with THAT either. My own husband makes fun of it. But do I jump on him and tell him he's a crazy jerk who thinks he's better then me? Um. No. You think that's a silly analogy? You think it's not the same as circumcision or formula? Then you've never stood in line to see that movie on opening night. Some of those people are crazyyyyyyyyyyy. They probably feel more passionate about "Twilight" then I do about natural child birth!

The point is, this is my blog and it's my facebook. And I share stuff that means something to me. If you don't agree, fine. But I won't stop sharing it. Because if I did, I couldn't share anything. I'm sure that each time I open my mouth, there is someone in this world that could be offended by what I'm about to say. But I won't go through life with my mouth shut just in case I offend someone. If you simply can't stand what I have to say, then delete me. We probably weren't that good of friends anyways.


  1. I think some people get upset because they don't feel like they are doing the best thing for their child and it makes them mad when other people do. I myself, could care less what anyone thinks about how I parent.

  2. I love this post... Seriously lol.

  3. My sentiments EXACTLY! You have a new follower. :D

  4. Wow, it's like i'm reading something that I wrote myself. I no longer discuss aspects of my parenting style with my dh's in-laws because they apparently assumed I was attacking THEIR parenting decisions, past or present, and I'd get dirty looks, snide comments (like 'well WE didn't do that and our kids turned out fine') or worse.

  5. :/ guess i didn't make the cut!

  6. Virtual high-five and hug and bows to you!!

  7. Mmm-hmm. Tell it,sister.