"It's Not Easy Being Green"...or crunchy

Day in and day out, I'm reminded that being "crunchy" is one of the most difficult things! I was recently accused by someone that the only reason I cared about the things I did (including being very passionate about breastfeeding) was because it was "the cool thing to do". Really? Is it? I don't think so. Being mainstream would be wayyyyy easier. How many times does someone face problems with formula feeding and someone says, "you should try breastfeeding instead!" or if you're doing CIO with your baby, you're not often told to stop CIO and cuddle your baby to sleep....I could go on and on. It can be SO exhausting being passionate about these things. So why do I talk about them? Why do I have this blog? Why have I lost people I THOUGHT were my friends (whom obviously weren't if they couldn't handle the fact that I dared to think different then them) just because I share my views, thoughts, ideals and opinions? 

I ask myself this question a lot. I even thought about no longer writing this blog and focusing on The Good Letdown and my most recent project, a support group for preemie parents Breastmilk for Preemies. Breastfeeding is probably the thing I am MOST passionate about hands down so I really just thought that I should just drop everything else, enjoy my large group of girlfriends who feel very similarly to my crunchy beliefs and focus on my breastfeeding blogs and groups. That's a big reason why I haven't posted on here for so long. Then I realized...if any person who had made change in this world had felt the same way, had just backed off because people didn't like what they had to say, we'd still be whipping slaves and women wouldn't be able to work or wear pants. NOT that I'm comparing myself to those who abolished slavery or who fought so passionately and dedicated themselves to the women's rights movement....but they didn't shut their mouths and neither will I. I am not saying I will change the world, I am not out to do that. I am just here in this tiny little corner of the internet, writing what I believe. 

And yes, I do believe it to be right. I believe that the way I raise my children is right. I believe that the things I am passionate about are right. I've said it before and I'll probably say it again...if I didn't believe they were right, I wouldnt' do them, now would I? Would you ever do something you believed was wrong? I mean, unless you're a criminal or a sociopath, do you honestly go through life and go against what you firmly believe is the correct thing to do? Obviously we all make mistakes. While I try to parent in a gentle way, I yell too much. My hand occasionally flies out before my brain stops it. Without a doubt, I screw up. But I try to always do what I believe is right! ............I got off on a tangent there....not at all unlike me for those of you who know and love me. (And for those who know and hate me, you know that's not unlike me either...and I bet you have a fun time picking at it. Here's something new to be added to the pile! :) 

So what is the point of this blog post in particular? Well, I guess it's just to come back into the fold of things and say, no, I'm not gone. And to just sort through my feelings. Because really, that's what this blog is for. The main purpose of this was for myself. Yes, I'm that selfish. I have made a lot of new changes in my thoughts and opinions lately and I'm still sorting through them. I'm constantly doing research and trying to work through life just as anyone else is. And this blog is a way for me to work through my own brain. If other people want to come along for the ride, be my guest. If you can't handle what I have to say, for goodness sakes, don't read it! If I offend you SO greatly, pass on by. Another reason I'm writing this is because I personally enjoy hearing about other peoples lives and parenting styles, but I would be especially interested to learn about anyone who made a dramatic change in their life. I have a friend who used to be a mormon...and now she's not. That's a MAJOR dramatic change. I'm FASCINATED by that. I'm fascinated by people who pick up their stake in life and dramatically change it. I've dramatically changed in my views of life and parenting and those changes are still occuring so I'm blogging about it (how many times can I use the word change and dramatic huh?! I need a thesaurus hahah!). 

I know, I know, this blog post is kind of all over the place and not the most well written. It's just a quick glance into the mess that is my brain...just me sorting through some crap in my own head. If I keep going on, I'll just end up repeating myself over and over again. But I'm still here. I'm still blogging. I'm not going anywhere. If you don't like what I have to say, just move along. Find something else to do with your time. :D